Avoiding gold-diggers in China and Taiwan!
Why getting girls to ALSO invest in the date in China and Taiwan is important!
Have you ever played poker, and you found that the more money you put into the pot, the easier it is to keep putting money in? In contrast, have you ever been in a long-term relationship? The more time you put into it, the harder it is to even consider breaking up, even though it’s not working? Why is this?
In this post, I will share the psychology of “investing” in dating and how that will affect if men should pay for everything on dates in China and Taiwan. This video topic is essential because if you start paying for everything on dates, it’s easy to follow that frame on later dates. You will just keep paying for everything. That habit can stick over the years.
Why being aware of “the provider role” is important
If it’s continuously expected for you to pay, you’ll be filling the provider role. Some guys are cool with that, but a lot of men aren’t. This can cause a relationship breakdown one year down the line or so. He finally sticks up to his values, “I always pay for everything; why don’t you pay for this?” Of course, she was originally attracted to that type of guy you’ve been framing for this past year (the provider type, not the lover), therefore you guys break up.
Understanding “investment in dating”, will help you when you become boyfriend and girlfriend in China and Taiwan. Your relationship will be more sustainable for the future and prevent these kinds of breakups because of money. This is because you’ll be setting the CORRECT frame from the very first date.
Who am I?
What’s up, guys. If this is your first time tuning in, I am James from Dating James. I help guys who are already getting some dating results in China and Taiwan, but something is stopping them from getting a girlfriend or getting second dates for some reason. They don’t really know what they’re doing wrong. I help them correct those issues and then take it to the next level. Specifically, I help guys who desire a social and cultural understanding of China and Taiwan.
But of course, a lot of these principles are applicable worldwide. Because psychologically, we are all the same – we’re all human. Recently, a Western friend in China asked me, “James, why do I keep meeting gold diggers over here?”. The problem was, I couldn’t relate because I felt I never really meet gold-diggers in China and Taiwan.
And for the longest time, I didn’t understand why. Why are all my girls who became girlfriends always cool with splitting the bill and paying equally? Whereas for my friends they’re always expected to pay and then later, they get into an argument and break up?
The reason was because on the first date, gold-digger type girls would find that I’m not a provider, and therefore wouldn’t come out on another date with me.
They were getting screened out early on because I was trying to get girls to invest in all of my dates financially; even if it was paying for something tiny. Buying a little drink or water or something. I would screen out those girls, and therefore would never get into relationships with them. I wouldn’t like them, and more significantly, they wouldn’t like me.
Even if I wanted to go on a second date, or just be “friends with benefits”, they wouldn’t be interested in me. This was because I didn’t matched their “blueprint” of the type of guy they wanted to date. This was because I was being more of a “lover” than a provider role.
Get local girls to invest on your dates!
It doesn’t take a genius to work out what I’m about to suggest to you, on how to avoid these gold digger type girls… The answer is to try and get them to financially invest in your dates.
Before I forget, maybe you struggle with meeting girls in China and Taiwan? Maybe you’re not getting dates here, because you’re struggling with the language barrier? This is a big problem for most Western guys who want to meet Mandarin speaking girls. You can click on the link below and get my free eBook, where I will share with you “14 conversation starters using mandarin for meeting Chinese and Taiwanese girls”.
In this FREE guide, I inform you which Mandarin conversation starters to use and which ones you should avoid. I also teach common mistakes you should avoid when meeting local girls.
Following this advice will therefore get you dates in China and Taiwan. I mean, you may enjoy this video, but if you’re not getting dates, you probably don’t know what I’m talking about. The most important thing is that you actually approach local girls and overcome that language barrier, which may be adding to your fear of making it awkward because they don’t understand you. Check that in the link below, free eBook on conversation starters in mandarin Chinese, okay.
Back to the blog. To avoid gold digger type girls, get them to invest something tiny in your dates! If you’ve seen the last video, you can be ambiguous with being a provider or a lover. You can do this by you paying for a cheap dinner or something not too expensive. You’re still paying, and therefore fulfilling the provider role.
But suppose you just get her to invest a little bit on your dates. In that case, it would get rid of those gold digger types. I don’t blame them because perhaps something in their childhood caused them to be insecure about money.
This could be because of their parent’s attitude, or past trauma, so you can’t really blame them. But they’re not the most ideal girlfriend type because if you lose your money one day, you’ll lose your wife! “No wife, no life”, okay! You want to meet a girl who ideally likes you because of your personality, not material things like money. Possessions come and go, but your character/ personality is longer lasting.
I used to cook on my dates in the UK and ask girls to bring one ingredient
Where did I come up with this “investment” idea? Back in the UK, for my dates I would always offer to cook spaghetti. On some of those dates, I would pay for all the ingredients. However, as a Western guy (student at the time), I feel like I’m being used for a free meal – if you pardon the pun.
In contrast, on some of my dates, I would ask them to buy one ingredient, “I forgot the tomato soup; can you bring some? Can you buy some?”
Guess which dates went slightly better? The dates where she invests in the tomato soup or the dates where the girl doesn’t bring anything?
The dates where she buys something.
It was the same in China and Taiwan, on dates I would buy an inexpensive dinner, and then I’ll ask her to buy a drink afterwards, such as milk tea. This is pretty cheap compared to the dinner and is a tiny investment.
The dates would generally go better if they did invest something financially, compared to the dates where it’s just me paying everything. I would feel a lot better, and it SETS THE FRAME yo, this is so important.
It sets the frame later that it’s not going to be you paying for everything. From day one, you’ve shown your morals. “I’m not a provider. I’m not giving you free meals all of the time, I’m not a free ride. You have to have financial independence from me”. Very crucial.
If you follow this principle of just getting them to invest a tiny bit into your dates, your dates will go smoother and weed out the gold digger types. Sure, you will lose some girls, but if you’re watching this video, I’m sure you probably don’t like that type of girl anyway. I’m sure you’ll be happy.
And now that have this knowledge about investing on dates, it will prevent you having breakups in the future, one year down the line, where you say, “I always pay for this, can you pay for dinner this time? Can you buy this”?
Cool. That’ll keep your relationship going.
Perhaps you’ve found today’s information useful, but you’re not getting enough dates in China and Taiwan? Realistically, it’s probably because you’re not talking to enough girls.
That could be because you’re struggling with the language, you don’t what to do? Perhaps she just doesn’t understand English or you just don’t know what to say? Perhaps what you’re saying doesn’t translate well into Mandarin?
You can check out my free eBook in the link below, 14 Chinese Mandarin Conversation Starters. This will allow you to get your foot in the door of the interaction and will enable you to convey your personality more. Instead of just getting rejected on the conversation starter and not getting the chance to say anything!
Get it FREE here