The importance of setting the frame early with Chinese and Taiwanese girls. Men are the gatekeepers of the relationship.

What’s up, guys. I am here in what looks like Italy, or some kind of palace in Europe. But actually, I’m in Tainan, Taiwan. Crazy, right? We’re visiting a European art museum. Beautiful. It wasn’t my first choice of place to visit in Tainan, but you have to take it in turns when you travel with someone. Nonetheless, it’s very cool. 

I wanted to talk about how important it is to set the frame in a relationship from the very beginning. We will discuss how changing the relationship rules will cause significant problems and a potential breakup later. 

Firstly, you’d be surprised how even girls in East Asia can be very open-minded about the frame you set in a relationship.

You’d think Taiwanese and Chinese girls would be highly conservative, but they are still very open-minded if you set a strong frame from the beginning. Women are much more open-minded than men. 

The importance of “setting the relationship frame, rules and boundaries” has been crossing my mind recently. Why? When I started dating my last girlfriend, the pandemic began around the same time. 

Up until recently, I was terrified of Covid-19 but not anymore.

So, since meeting that girlfriend, I wouldn’t go to any

clubs and bars throughout our relationship. However, now that I’m planning to go back to bars and clubs, I’m getting resistance. Of course, my partner now cannot accept me going out and re-embracing nightlife. 

I understand what you’re thinking, “if you’re in a serious relationship, you shouldn’t be going to bars and clubs”. 

Let me preface. Since we met, I consistently set the frame that I need to go out in the daytime and meet the opposite gender for my job (dating coach). And she was relatively cool with that.

The problem is that I didn’t set the frame of going out to bars and clubs since the beginning; now, it’s come too suddenly in our relationship. Of course, it’s now tricky to set that new frame without causing emotional drama.

Another example of early frame setting includes my friends who were scared to set an open relationship frame with the girls they were dating. They would lie to themselves and their partner due to his “scarce mindset” (opposed to abundant). The problem is, one year into the relationship, the guy suddenly starts to set an “open relationship” frame. Of course, that causes many issues, resulting in them breaking up. 

If he had been sincere and set a strong frame initially, his girlfriend may have been much more agreeable.

You would assume most girls wouldn’t accept an “open relationship”, but if you set the frame from the VERY beginning, you’d be shocked. Even over here, in Taiwan, East Asia, many girls can be cool with the rules and boundaries that you set. 

These are like signing the terms and conditions of the relationship. They have to be done initially, not one or two years in. 

Another example of “poor frame setting” includes guys who pay for everything at the start of the relationship but suddenly demand that she start paying for herself one year later. It’s way too late into the relationship. This naturally causes problems. 

I understand it’s challenging to be honest and put out your terms and conditions because you will be scared she doesn’t accept. 

I know you will fear losing her. It’s very tough to be willing to walk away if she doesn’t accept your rules and boundaries. But this is all part of an abundant mindset which is actually extremely attractive. Counterintuitive, right?  

Your willingness to walk away makes her want to stay?

I don’t think I could have done much in terms of my own mistake. But if I could go back in time (and not be scared of Covid), I would set up the frame that I go to bars and clubs often instead of doing that two years into the relationship. 

Comment below if you can relate to what I am talking about. 

So how can today’s information help you?

If you are a young man or, rather, not an older gentleman, and you do want to have an open relationship, don’t lie to your girl. You would actually be so surprised how often girls can accept. 

I heard an interesting quote: ‘Girls are the gatekeepers to the bedroom. But guys are the gatekeeper to the relationship.

She has the power to choose if she wants to be intimate with you. However, you decide where to take the relationship from there. 

She will then choose to accept or decline your setting the terms and conditions of the relationship. That is the time when you want to be very, very honest and hide nothing. 

I know it’s hard. I know that if you really like the girl, you’ll be scared that she won’t accept your boundaries and you’ll lose her. 

However, if you are not honest now, she will walk away later if you suddenly change the frame. So now is the best time. Besides, your willingness to walk away is extremely attractive, like we said. It is an abundant mindset of a high-value man who has options. 

I hope you’ve enjoyed the blog post. If you like it, please share it with a friend.  

Keep hustlin’

James Charme.

Video Description

In this video I discuss the importance of setting the frame early in a relationship, and are men really the gatekeepers of relationships. This is all about holding your frame and having a stronger frame, and establishing boundaries. Visiting Chimei museum Tainan and setting the frame early in a relationship.

Filmed in January 2022 with my girlfriend at the time (we’re no longer together).

If you’re dating in Taiwan or dating in China and want to set up an open relationship in Asia, then this video is perfect for you. That is because it is important to establish rules in an open relationship, from the very beginning.

They say women are the gatekeepers to the bedroom, men are the gatekeepers to the relationship. In this video, I dive into this in detail and what it means in East Asia including Taiwan and China. Subscribe for more Asian dating advice.